Dating myself is something I started doing a few years ago. I know it sounds so strange but it really is such a good way to get to know yourself. Just being with yourself (especially in public) is something I found very daunting. Sure running errands & grocery shopping is one thing, but actually sitting in a cafe or going to the movies alone was so strange to me. I felt very self conscious at first, but I eventually got used to it and grew to really like it.
We’re living in a strange time at the moment. Parts of the world are in lock down, the rest are social distancing. Spending time at home has become more normal than ever. Taking yourself OUT is not an option for everyone at the moment. But you can still give this concept a go at home. Not only will it give you a chance to connect with yourself, there’s a whole lot of self-care in there too that us women need now more than ever. That’s why I’ve listed ten self-care dates you can do at home.
Even before this was the new way of life I started spending more time alone looking inward with the intention of making my outward a more positive one. Trying to create space with four children is no easy feat. I’m here to tell you though, it is possible. It takes planning & being deliberate but it is so worth while for your mental and physical health. Date yourself at home.
Make a plan
The first step is planning. Choosing your window of opportunity is vital. Only you know the best time for you depending on your circumstance. It may be once the kids are down for the night or when they are in the care of someone else. Or it may be when they are at home (like me) but they are at an age of where they understand that mummy needs some alone time. It’s actually very healthy to explain to our children that we all need to have some recharge time. Just like they have quiet time at a particular time of the day, mum needs it too. Let them know that mummy is taking some quiet time for herself but if there is a real emergency you are there and it’s fine for them to interrupt you. The older your children get the easier this is.
Once you’ve chosen your ideal time for your date with yourself the next step is the set up. This is not about slapping on a face mask and setting a timer for 20 minutes. Date yourself girl!! Think candles, wine, music, chocolate. Whatever it is that makes it extra special for you. For example if all you want to do is curl up and read a book set up a little side table with your a cup of tea, your favourite chocolate, light a candle and curl up with your favourite blanket. Make yourself a nest. Remember you don’t plan to leave this spot until you absolutely have to so make it special.
1. Have a bath
Again this does not mean fill up the tub, jump in and jump out. I mean really, really have a bath. Use essential oils in the water or a bath bomb. Light a candle, make sure you have a towel to rest your head on, take a glass of wine or beverage of your choice with you. Pop on a play list or if you’re like me set up your laptop or tablet so that you can watch your favourite tv show from the bath. You can even pop a face mask on.
2. Manicure/ Pedicure
How much better do you feel when your nails are in order? Honestly I hate looking at my hands when my nails are out of control. And how many times a day do we use and see our hands? Give them the love they deserve. Remember to cover all of your bases before you start. Nail polish is one of those things that isn’t very forgiving half done. You need to see it through to the end. If you are doing a mani and a pedi have your towels on standby for when you take your feet out of the water.
So now that you have all of your nail polish needs laid out in front of you is there anything else you need? A drink? Chocolate? Go ahead and break the chocolate up so you can awkwardly pick it up with your wet nails and feed it to yourself. Have a tv show set up ready to with the controls easily in reach. Or music or a podcast. Whatever tickles your fancy.
This one is not for everyone but sometimes I just like to stand in my kitchen alone, listening to my favourite music very loudly and get creative with cooking. Sometimes it’s just nice to be able to lick the bowl and spoon myself while dancing.
4. Go for a walk
This sounds so basic but it will completely change your state. A change of scenery is so refreshing as well as the endorphins your body will release from the exercise. Walks are where I get my best thinking done. I usually listen to a podcast or something on YouTube like Tony Robbins, Joe Dispenza or Mel Robbins. People I can learn from and feel inspired by.
5. Sit outside with a cup of tea
One of my favourites. This one doesn’t have to be so well thought out. If the sun is shining grab your cuppa and an outdoor chair and plonk it in the sun for 20 minutes. The vitamin D will do you good as well as the fresh air. You can even take a book outside and read.
6. Read a book
I mentioned earlier about really setting yourself up for this one. It could be outside if the weather permits or if it’s inside make yourself cosy. Set up a corner somewhere with blankets and cushions and all of your favourite things.
7. Declutter or Spring clean
This one is not for everybody but a good declutter makes me so happy! Pick a room, cupboard, draw or space that you want to tackle. Make yourself a cuppa & a few of your favourite cookies. Grab some rubbish bags, turn up the music and go for it. I find decluttering or giving things a good sorting out very therapeutic. It helps to release tension by giving things the chop and afterwards you are left feeling refreshed with your new sorted space. It’s also one of those gifts that keep giving too because if you are anything like me you will keep walking back to that space or opening those cupboard doors again to re-live how much of a good job you’ve done.
I’ve written a blog on recognising & removing toxic energy from your life which includes some of my decluttering tips. You can read that here https://inmelsmind.com/2020/06/16/how-to-recognise-and-remove-toxic-energy-from-your-life/
I struggle to meditate. My mind is always switched on and thinking, thinking, thinking. Which is why I generally try and find things to keep my mind busy when I am trying to relax. Whether it be reading, listening to or watching something. So when it comes to meditating I generally choose to do a guided meditation. That way I can follow the steps. But when it comes to meditating you do what’s best and comes most naturally to you. You could choose to lay in silence or listen to some relaxing music. You do you boo. Remember it’s all about creating some space for yourself.
Whether it be a movie or your current series obsession just go for it. Popcorn, beverage, tv controls, blanket, you name it, you do it. Set your self up!!
Again set the scene first. Then take out your notebook and pen and write it all down! All of it! Remember your journal tells no one so you can let it all out. I have had so many ah ha moments from venting & processing in my journal. It’s the closest thing to having a therapist at home.
You are so important and worth taking time for.