This is normally the time of year myself and I’m sure many others are bombarded with marketing about the new year and the new you. Whether it’s weight loss programmes, new careers, courses or anything else that’s going to change you. It’s all there in our faces flashing up on our screens trying to convince us that what we are and what we have is not good enough for the new year.
Don’t get me wrong I’m all about growth, goal setting and moving forward. But I feel that it’s so easy to get caught up in the hype of resolutions and all the ‘new’, that come mid January when we’ve set the bar too high for ourselves and lapsed for a day we can feel disheartened and spend the next eleven and a half months waiting to ‘start again’ next January.
I’ve found that every season of my life has in no way matched up with my calendar. Everyones lives are so unique and individual that they need to run on their own course in their own time. For example you may be dabbling with the idea of changing careers or starting a new course. If you’re not ready to take that step in January there are eleven other months in the year that you can do that.
I have big goals. But if I were to write them down as 2020 resolutions I know I’d be overwhelmed and if I slipped up or wavered at all I’d end up giving up early in the year. Instead I’m breaking my big goals down in to tiny little monthly, weekly, daily size pieces so that they are physically and mentally attainable. A bit like when you serve up a plate of vegetables to a child. The task seems overwhelming and they normally crumble under the pressure. I find only dishing up a small amount of veggies that I know my kids can handle makes life more enjoyable for everyone involved.
I’ve been reflecting on the past year (because I believe the end of the year is a great time for reflection) not to look at what I didn’t get done, but to look and what I have actually accomplished and what I’ve learnt. This year held some big events and even bigger lessons for me. One of them being my mum had to have full time care due to her alzheimers and no longer recognises myself or my children. I packed up and said goodbye to my childhood home, I reflected on what would have been my first borns sixteenth birthday, and I ended up very unwell with anxiety due to stress.
As hard as these events were to endure, they have taught me so much. Firstly that I am a lot stronger than I realised. Secondly it has taught me the value of health and making the most of the everyday moments because time waits for nobody. Thirdly, I one hundred percent need to put myself first. I can’t speak for the men but I know as a woman, a wife, a mother and a daughter there is this sense of needing to do all and be all. But there is only so long that you can put yourself at the bottom of the the to do list before the physical and mental signs begin to show. I will do everything in my power to never let myself get there again.
So for me 2020 will be about trusting in the strength and resilience that’s within me and continuing to be deliberate in looking after myself and my health both physically and mentally.
Wishing you a wonderful new year full of love, laughter, health and happiness.